Disclaimer for new readers: I try to inject some fun into potentially dull topics like Internet marketing or business networking here. The idea is that you get all the invaluable advice you need to succeed online and enjoy the process too.
Now here’s the stalking story I’m sharing because it will help you build stronger relationships online. You don’t have to be a stalker to network online but it helps.
Stalking doesn’t come naturally to me. Like most teenage girls I had my fair share of crushes on dodgy pop stars from dodgy eighties bands like Duran Duran, Depeche Mode and even, most embarrassingly of all, Culture Club. But I didn’t stalk them.
If I went to a concert dad would come to pick me up straight afterwards and whisk me back to the safety of the tower where he kept me. There was no hanging around outside the venue vying for an autograph with other girls. But I did once bravely touch that famously foul-tempered, three times Wimbledon tennis champion: John McEnroe. He was a bit sweaty at the time.
Stalking the Stars at the Cannes Film Festival
I didn’t really get into stalking until I was 22 and then only to keep a boyfriend happy. He was an intense French man who wanted to break into the movie world and decided trying to meet some stars during the Cannes Film Festival would be a great way to do it.
Since Cannes was only a few hours drive away from where I lived in the South of France and I’d never been there before, I readily agreed to join him on this escapade.
Jean-Pierre (not his real name) devised a clever strategy of dressing up in our best clothes (I swear he even wore a bow tie), then bluffing our way into the Carlton Hotel where all the stars stayed and loitering in the lobby or riding up and down in the lifts.
We got quite good at stalking people. We met Willem Dafoe, rode in the lift Christopher Walken and even helped Rupert Everett get into the hotel. In case you haven’t heard of Rupert Everett he’s an upper class English actor and best friend of Madonna – that’s him with her in this photo. He even starred in a movie with her, probably not the pinnacle of his acting career but anyway, back to Cannes in 1990 where Rupert was having trouble getting into the Carlton.
While I was frocked up in an eighties dress with matching shoulder-padded jacket, Rupert was looking cool in backwards baseball cap, t-shirt and ripped jeans. The doorman had no idea who he was and clearly no intention of letting this scruff ball in. So I helpfully rushed over, exercised my best french and all my powers of persuasion to get him in. Sadly, Rupe didn’t even say thank you. He just swished straight by me to reception where he called Miranda Richardson and was last seen heading off to the bar with her.
Accidental Twitter Stalking in Australia
Fast forward 20 years to Australia where I’m the new kid in town with no friends, no contacts and no reputation. After an 18 month break from the Internet when we hung out in Costa Rica I decided to try social media, partly to try to establish my writing career in a new country and partly to find out what social media was all about so I could better help my web design clients.
I got chatting on Twitter with John Birmingham who interested me because he was always tweeting about how many words he’d written. What I didn’t realise then was the he’s a prolific, talented and bestselling writer. I found his tweets movitated me to write more and I challenged him to a word race and generally sent him silly and embarrassing tweets.
His minimalist Twitter bio just reads “I write for food” so I had no idea that not only is John Birmingham a prolific blogger and celebrated columnist, but also a bestselling author of many books including the classic He Died With a Felafel In His Hand, The Axis of Time series and After America
.
But it was only when I wrote a post about Birmo called How to Use Twitter as a Motivational Tool and did a bit of research that I discovered all this. I then mentioned him and travel writer Peter Moore, also a gifted author of multiple books who I ‘met’ on Twitter, in a guest post – Motivation Tips that Actually Work: 6 Sure-Fire Ways To Get Writing and Keep Writing. I went on to interview Peter Moore too because his story’s inspiring to writers and online entrepreneurs.
Why You Need to Start Stalking People
I wrote about these two gentlemen to show other writers how to get motivated and what Twitter can do for them, but it’s helped me build a good relationship with two very well known authors. As I result I recently met John Birmingham at the Reality Bites Literary Festival (see photo) and even appeared on a poster with him as we were both speakers – that’s the speaking engagement image on my media page.
Meanwhile Peter Moore emailed me this week saying he has a new business idea and he’s bearing me in mind for web design and would like to check out my travel book when completed with a view to publishing it.
These are just two people I’ve met through Twitter but there are literally hundreds of excellent contacts I’ve made, many of whom will be reading this and leaving a comment. Chances are we met through Twitter too, directly or indirectly.
The Benefits of Stalking
That’s why I recommend virtual ‘stalking’ on Twitter as a way to:
- Meet successful players in your field.
- Build good relationships with people you’d never be able to speak to otherwise.
- Be motivated and inspired.
- Get some good contacts – if I ever write that book I have two published authors to contact who might put me in touch with their agent or even read my book and write a review.
How to be a Good Stalker
I didn’t plan any of this but in retrospect I did a few things right in building online relationships and I’ve networked with hundreds of other bloggers, writers and travellers all over the world on Twitter. These are my tips for successful online networking:
- Dress up a bit like I did in Cannes – make sure your Twitter profile and blog or website shows you at your best.
- Be friendly without going overboard. Say hi, tell them where you live, why their profile caught your eye or share something you have in common. For example, I live in the same state as John Birmingham so I probably mentioned that and like Peter Moore I’m a travel fiend. With each of them I established a common interest.
- Compliment people about something specific not necessarily related to what they do. For example, I could honestly thank John Birmingham for motivating me to write more and compliment Peter Moore on his well designed website.
- Buy their products and mention that to them.
- Recommend them and their products to other people and let them know you did – you can retweet their links on Twitter for starters or leave a comment on their blog.
- Help them out – if you notice they have a problem or question see if you can answer it or recommend someone else who will be able to.
- Back off – a little bit of stalking’s a good thing for everyone but don’t pester people too much. Your aim is to get them interested in you, not make them block you – the social media equivalent of taking out a protection order against you.
What do you think? Who would you like to stalk and why?
Blog Writing Magic Series
Next week I’ll carry on with the pleasingly popular Blog Writing Magic Series – essential blog writing tips that will make your readers love you even more than they do already. Stay tuned by email or by RSS so you don’t miss out. In the weeks ahead I’ll tackle:
- Blog content writing
- Post layout
- Editing
- Writing practice
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Please tell your friends and followers if you like this blog by using the share buttons below or recommending this post in your favourite blog bookmarking site so we can grow the Hot Spot Team. I look forward to seeing you here again soon.
Thank you for reading and good luck with all your plans! Annabel







{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Just a quick disclaimer about my stalking activities in Cannes – personally, I’d have preferred to lounge on the beach or explore the seedy backstreets of Cannes but I still had a lot to learn about empowerment back then:)
Oh, now I get it, Annabel. When you say to me “Let’s talk, Robin” you’re really saying “Let’s stalk!” Must get my ears checked.
Thanks for hitting the fun button in these potentially dry subjects. Well done!
Robin
Hi Robin, and we met on Twitter too. I think in that case you stalked me though… All goes to show how clever you are:)
I’s still stalking you!
Just noticed my name on the above comment reads ‘Dickinsnon’. Oops.
Well, it’s nice to be stalked by a star instead of the other way round! Fixed the typo:)
Hi Annabel, I LOVE Rupert Everett – I always fancied him, the perfect gay friend! and John Birmingham rocks too! Great ideas here, I like it!
Hi Joanna, lovely to see you here and thanks so much for commenting. Rupe looks pretty good in that photo doesn’t he?! I used to see him a lot in London – he went round with a black leather cod piece over his jeans! I think I prefer Birmo – he’s hilarious:)
Great article Annabel. I love all of the 80′s mentions. Being an 80′s girl myself and former Madonna-Wanna-Be I can totally relate. I tend to be more of a voyer online but Twitter is bringing me out of my shell. Can’t wait to read more of your articles.
Hi Tanya, hehe, I was a big Madonna fan too although I went off her a while back when she got into all that tweedy English look! So glad you’re enjoying Twitter – amazing tool, we’re living in fabulous times, what a priveledge to be able to connect with people all over the world at the click of a mouse. Give me a shout if you have any blogging questions and I’ll try to help:)
Great tips Annabel
Hi Catherine, divine to see you here:)
I have never admitted to this, but I think being almost 46 allows me to be free!!!
I once stalked a famous italian designer: Ettore Sottsass. I even learnt italian so I could write him letters and phone him and chase him… he was really lucky he didn’t have a blog back then in 1991…ahhh
Hi Taty, celebrating your first comment, thank you! I loved it. I looked him up. Was it him or his designs?! They are pretty funky but all the pics I saw of him he was looking a bit old:) Funny little flash back to the early 90s:) Yes, it’s good to reminisce about the funny things we used to do.
Hi Annabel,
I met Christopher Walken too! He won the Hasty Pudding at Harvard and they had a reception at my restaurant at the time. He did a little dance on our patio.
You bring up some good points here. It’s an interesting perspective… I have always viewed “stalking” negatively. I have to ponder who I would “stalk.” I do see that with the internet, it is just like good old fashioned networking.
Hi Rob, hehe, he’s funny, not the scary character he plays in movies at all. I think this is stalking people in the nicest possible way and these are the kind of people who are not averse to a little friendly stalking:)
I think the fun thing about Twitter is that you don’t need any introductions – the conversation is permanently in full swing ~ All you have to do is join in!
As you say it makes everyone accessible, all on an equal footing
Hi Linda, that’s a great point. It’s easy to get your foot in the door with anyone:) Thank you for adding that, it’s a great leveller.
Annabel..Another great post!!! What a great story – isnt it interesting how our life journey provides the rich experiences and knowledge that we sometimes feel no one else would be interested in and are left amazed at how they can relate little pieces back to their own – what a lovely way to share your knowledge
Hi Leanne, yes, a few other “stalkers” are coming out of the woodwork!
Hi Annabel,
Sounds like you’ve got your ‘stalking’ down to a science. It’s certainly paid off nicely
One thing I would suggest is if you are in the habit of stalking but your ‘prey’ is not receptive, there does come a time when you need to back off and not be a nuisance. Not everyone will be receptive or respond or follow you, no matter what you do. You may have to right these people off and go after new prey.
Hi Karen, I never realised how handy all that lurking around in Cannes was and what a useful life skill I was learning:) That is a good point too. I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life trying to make friends with people who ignore me or are rude to me. It’s been a classic mistake. The meaner people were the harder I tried to be nice them and try to get them to like me.
No more! Now I readily accpet that some people just aren’t in to me and enjoy hanging out with the people who are interested and receptive to me. It works much better:)
Hmmm, interesting. Stalking. I guess this is ‘good stalking’.
Hi Dalia, yes, stalking in the nicest possible way. I actually got stalked by Coca-Cola – they followed my blog and tweets for months before deciding to invite me to Shanghai with them! You never know who’s watching you on the Internet so make sure you put your best foot forward every time you tweet:)
Hi Annabel, Interesting take on this. I’d have to say you probably maxed on SEO with this post as well!
I kind of agree with Rob that it’s really about good old fashioned networking, and there is nothing wrong with that!
Hi Barbara, hehe, I’ll let you know about the SEO thing. I don’t do it scientifically here although I do offer that service to clients. I prefer writing for people. Yes, you and Rob are right:)
I’m available to be stalked on a first come, first served basis.
That is all.
OK, everyone get in line please:)
Anabel, what a fun blog post. Stalking celebrities! Don’t think I ever did that though I admit to stalking ex-boyfriends – occasionally. Online stalking is something I’d never have considered until now. Makes a lot of sense. Sounds easy to do, and an enjoyable way to meet people. I’m all for it and will definitely have a go. Thanks for yet another good tip.
Hi Penelope, haha, I think everyone has a little stalking secret to share. This is a way to build relationships really though… happy “stalking”.
Annabel,
Thanks for explaining why all this juicy fun is happening here.
I’ve already learned so much from you about networking and this article consolidates much of it. Excellent.
Now, who would I like to stalk…
Well, I don’t think the Dalai Lama will tweet me back, but you never know.
Hi Sandra Lee, you know the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela are the two people I’d most like to meet. I’m sure I’m not alone in that. They are fabulous. But I want to get to South Africa and Dar Masala to meet them. I hope I don’t leave it too late! I think you should tweet him and see what happens. I emailed his office for permission to use the image in this post: http://www.successfulblogging.com/three-keys-to-living-our-dreams/ and got a wonderful email back from Tenzin Choejor “Official Photographer/webmaster Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama” Really:)
Annabel, brilliant! I am going to use this technique at Blogworld and especially on Darren and Chris and those guys and if anything goes wrong, I’ll tell them I learned it all here at the get in the hot spot
!
Just teasing of course….well, celebrity meet-up can be fun. I played craps with Senator John McCain in Las Vegas once…..I really was hoping I’d have another person on my list but that’s about it. One day, one fine day, I will give Elton John a kiss, just you wait!
Hi Farnoosh, lol, you have to tell them you’re following in my footsteps and I want to see the pics that prove it too:) Elton John! That’s a funny one:) It’s a bit sad really that my “stalking” seems to be confined to bloggers and authors. If I was going to go for looks I’d go for Benjamin Bratt… but then my hubby might have real cause to complain:)
I try to connect at the values.
I know it sounds simple, but I’ve found that connecting at values is a way to connect with people in a sustainable and authentic way.
I’m not sure how I found this out but a bit like your story came across a Twitter profile of this girl from Dublin chatting to @alysamilano. Now I was fascinated as Milano is a prolific Twitter user but she doesnt normally follow back (like most celebrities). Turns out this girl had tweeted how she was watching a re-run of “Charmed” and it made her cry as her Dad had died recently and they used to watch it together . It made her think of him. Not sure if Milano was following her (I think probably not) but she tweeted back to her how she was happy that she had helped bring her memories with her dad. They tweeted back and forth a couple of times/ A few tweets later ended this girl from Dublin says something along the lines of “I can’t believe I’ve just had a convesation with Alyssa Milano”. To me that showed the power of Twitter perfectly. The liklehood of this girl ever getting to say this to Milano pre-Twitter would be zilt. If she wrote a letter it would be dumped and yet here she is chatting with a star she admires. Not bad..
Ann
Annabel,
Thanks for helping out with this! I am new to twitter and trying build a following. I have been stalking some major players, but not sure what else to do! I think I am going to make sure I go to their blogs and read and comment as well as retweeting their stuff to my handful of followers (although it is growing as I find many are following back!) Now if I can just be profound enough for people to retweet me!
Bernice
http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/08/20/ahh-the-american-dream/
Annabel,
Fabulous! I never realized we could use Twitter to “stalk.” I’m going to make a very short list of who I might benefit from getting to know through Twitter. Thank you for introducing me to this new technique – that I would prefer to call networking though!
Compliment people often and be willing to help often. I think that these two are very important to success! Being able to compliment others shows character. Your willingness to help someone out, shows that you can be an effective partner in any project.
Hi Annabel,
I love your post, you’ve made stalking sound safe and fun.
I kinda tried a little bit of Twitter stalking a while back, but wasn’t very successful – that was *before* I read Robin’s “Success With Twitter” interactive PDF… now I’ve read your article, I might give it another go.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Claire
Well, I read it. And believe it or not, I had already stalked one person before I read your post! Thanks a lot for putting your time into helping others start!
x Evil Babysitter of your kids ;P
Sounds like you’re an advanced stalker like myself!