How to Build Meaningful Relationships with Experts in Your Niche

It's frustrating, isn't it?

How you've given your best, done everything  you know, implemented all the tips and tricks involved in building a popular blog…

Yes, you've got a slick, beautiful and responsive theme.

blogger outreachYou invested money and time on a memorable domain and reliable host hoping to build a blog you can call an asset.

But nothing…

No traffic, no comments, no subscribers, and no shares.  Zip. Zero.

Your blog has not taken off on the wings of fame.

And it's terribly annoying.

And sure, sometimes you get traffic spike (of 30, 50 or 70 visitors). Among those are 3 of your friends, your family, including your lovely mom and maybe some friends from Facebook.

But deep down, you know those sketchy numbers aren't enough to justify your calling. They aren't enough to support your motivation. And they definitely aren't enough to make any money.

They worst part?

It happens only once in a while.

So what's the point? What's the rationale behind building a blog nobody cares about?

It is actually painful.

Because it boils down to the reason we do what we DO,  which is noble (to create value, bless lives and leave something for the next generation) but no one gives a darn!

No one is ready to come by and say hello.

And the conventional advice?

Write more pillar content.

But honestly, if that's the only advice the gurus throw at you, then they are not telling you the whole truth.

Yes, because, I was told the same. To write more, link to power users, publish and post to social media. I was told blogs are good for search engine rankings and all I needed to do was to constantly publish and traffic would flow to my blog.

You've also heard this phrase “Content is king”, haven't you?

But after following this advice for six months, I came to discover that it's one of the most stupid ideas anybody would want to embrace.

Maybe you are still following this advice… that means, you never stand a chance of being noticed. You'll never succeed with blogging, you'll never sail pass the noise; you'll keep struggling and wondering why nothing is happening.

And that's the painful part of blogging.

In this post, I'll lay it bare. You'll discover how to drive massive traffic to your blog even if you are a nobody with no track record.

Ready? Let's begin.

The Real Truth About Blogging Popularity

You've heard this advice a million times, right? To gain traffic, submit your blog to Google, build quality keywords and rank for them, publish your post on social media platforms, boost your post with Facebook ads and so on.

On the surface, they make it sound as though that's all you need to succeed online.

But no, it's not. I stumbled around aimlessly in the dark implementing all those advice. But nothing So the question is, isn't there a smarter way?

Yes, there is a way. A way to smart blogging, a way to bid mediocrity blogging efforts farewell.

And it all comes down to this:

Build Meaningful Relationships with Influencers

Chances are you've not thought of this or maybe you believe you could someday roll in the dough with what you already know.

The bad news?

You'll never succeed alone. We all need people who have gone ahead of us to help and point us in the right direction.

I mean the experts, the big dogs, and power users. We need their attention to succeed and this post will show you how…

The Big Benefits of Relationship Building

To be frank, it's not about sharing and retweeting to get exposure. It's not back-links. It's not even shares or guest posting opportunities. So, what do you stand to gain by connecting with power users?

Instant authority: For instance, your connection with Brain Dean could rub some respect on you.

Oh, yes.

A photograph of you and Brain would give you that perceived value and yourself would be regarded as an authority.

Friendships that pay: You build a team of friends who are willing to support your every move.

Imagine this:

You have a cocktail party slated a month from now.

Who the heck do you want to invite?

Total strangers?

Or friends, right?

Blogging is the same.

You write mouth-watering articles, then you want to invite friends to come and dine with you. Those same people share your interests, and so they'll subscribe to whatever you have to say. They would share and promote every article you write.

And your influencers can be your true friends.

Traffic on autopilot: What do you think would happen if all your influencers friends share your post?

Imagine you have at least 10 prominent bloggers as friends, I mean those in the rank of Brian Clark, Brain Dean, Darren Rowse, Neil Patel, Pat Flynn, Jon Morrow, Henneke Dustermaat, Yaro Starak and others.

And each of them has 50,000 followers. A mention of you would put you in front half a million people.

Want more?

You have them doing this for you over and over.

Interesting, huh

Gain more followers: You get to have thousands of followers because of those influencers mentioning you.

Chances are, their followers would also perceive you as an expert and follow you.

You rake in some fans and if they like what you publish, they'll stick to you for the rest of their lives.

You get to be favored: Every of your guest post pitches would be accepted, Even if those influencers don't necessarily accept guest post, yours would go through. You'll get good traffic and high paying clients.

And that means you have an unfair advantage over your peers.

That looks like cheating right?

But no, it's not.

The relationship did the magic. And it's sad, that only a few smart bloggers understand this.

You can easily get endorsements, interviews, introductions, joint ventures and even get introduced to their mastermind groups.

So what the heck are you waiting for?

Prominent bloggers are expert relationship builders.

In the beginning of their blogging journey, they built relationship channels.

They wrote guest posts. They commented like their lives depended on it.

They are not fools.

They know that relationship building is key to the search engines. They know that the single most viable way to fail is to try to run alone.


You're a nobody and nobody gives a hoot about you.

And there in every niche, there are those in the glass house of authority and fame.

If they like you? You succeed and become famous as they.

If they hate you? You're doomed.

And the only way out is to stop blogging and get yourself another job.

Because the truth is:

If they thumb you down, you run alone and never have a chance of going past the glass ceiling of the blogosphere.

This is the bitter truth every blogger must embrace.

The good news:

In six easy steps, I'll help you scale through every hurdle to building positive relationships so you're never left high and dry.

Shall we?

How to Build Meaningful Relationships (Even If It Scares You)

Step #1 Create An Unbeatable List of Influencers in Your Niche

Here's the deal:

We want to get the most authoritative guys in our space, bloggers with influence and whose name rings a bell.

First, you need to create a spreadsheet to add them up.

We want to add at least 50 influencers, even though we wouldn't work with all of them at once.

So we'll rank the 50 influencers base on their sphere of influence and then add the best 10 in position 1-10 on the sheet.

I must warn you, though, this isn't going to be an easy task, like in the real world; it's not easy to connect, right?

I really wish to tell you it's as easy as hooking up with the sweet chick down the street. But I won't.

And here's why.


Expert bloggers are busy, too busy with family, businesses and, of course, premium money paying clients. Maybe the easiest way is to join their mastermind group,  right?

Well, wrong. Most mastermind groups are of people of the same sphere of influence. Bloggers of the same rank.

The worst part? You don't choose them. They decide who joins the team.

Don't worry. In this post, we deconstruct and help you step by step on initiating and building a band of barons who'll promote you for free.

The bottom line:

It's not easy to build a relationship with those guys and please don't be tempted to work with more than 10 bloggers at once.

How do you get the influencers? enter your keyword in the search box and all the blogs in your niche would be displayed.

I just searched for the keyword blogging and a bunch of blogs showed up.

The good thing about Alltop is that you can search by categories

Add up the potential blogs in your list.

I recommend that you create a spreadsheet and put in your results as you'll find in the steps below. A point to note, though, is that you don't need to get a list of 100 bloggers to build relationships with them. In fact, I recommend you try to work with at least 5-10 bloggers at a time.

Google search: enter the keyword in the search bar and you'll get a list of top 10-20 results you could add up to your list.

Your curated list: a collection of guest posting sites really good potentials, see the following

Memory base: remember any bloggers who made a real and positive impact on you. For me, Darren Rowse, Brian Clark, and Jon Morrow always come to mind.

Add them to your list

Step #2. Group them by influence

You know those influencers are not equal or at the same level of influence right? Yes.

So, how do you measure and rank them?

Use wonk and Klout to check out their social authority and delete blogs below 25 points

What you should look out for on their blogs:

1. Average engagement and comments (this can be calculated by adding up 10 latest post comments & dividing it by 10)

2. Subscriber count if it's displayed on the blog

3. Twitter and Facebook followers count.

Dig deeper using this tool to check PR, daily visits, and other useful details.

The idea here is to find blogs with at least a page rank of 2 and domain authority of 30 and daily visit of 1000+. Have those blogs at the top ten on your list.

Hard work, huh?

Yes. But this is the way to know the real barons, the way to win the game to fame.

And that means having core data and facts about who you want to befriend.

Step #3. Stalk them like a virtual detective

Hey, I don't mean following them on their every move.

Follow them on social media.

The goal here is so that they'll notice you, at least for the first time.

The first thing you should do.

Open the door to your inbox by subscribing to their newsletter

  • Read the welcome email and download any free product they offer for download.
  • If they ask you to reply the email with a question or whatever, go ahead and do it.

And it starts right here…

Here is part of a welcome email I received from Pat Flynn of smart passive income requiring an action…

Which of the following best describes your online business activity? Click on the ONE answer that best describes you:

  1. I don't have an online business yet.
  2. I have an online business, but I'm stuck between $0-$500 per month.
  3. I have an online business that is generating more than $500 per month.

Click on one of the above, and you'll be taken to a landing page with more information about that particular segment and what you can look forward to. Also, there's a question for you to answer there as well if you choose to.

From then on, I'll happily send you more emails that best suit you.

Thanks so much, and if you've read this far…go back up and let me know which answer best fits you! 🙂



Ms. Ileane Smith's welcome email is action-packed with instructions on what to do, so let's check it out:

NOTE: make sure you read and study whatever resource they offer you. It is important because you don't want to follow them blindly. Get their tone, style and how they write…

Here they might ask you to connect with them on social media, share a personal story or ask you to send a personalized email.

They might want to take you through a series of courses all reloaded into their autoresponder.

It is ideal.

The point is, follow and do what they ask and they'll notice you.

Step #4. Hang out with them:

  • On social media platforms. Follow them on Facebook, twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn.
  • Fall in love with them, share and retweet their posts, drop valuable and insightful comments. Take it a step further by replying to other readers comments on their blogs.
  • Send them an honest compliment like this:

I did this for Adam Connell and he replied immediately.

You can use this email to send a compliment to your influencers.

Subject: I'm in love with (TARGET'S BLOG NAME)


Just wanted to reach out to say thanks for all the stuff you've been publishing lately at (BLOG'S NAME).

(I actually used the STRATEGY you recommend in (THE MOST POPULAR OR LATEST POST) and I got (STATE THE BENEFITS) I want to say thank you.

Keep up the awesome work! 



Subtly win their hearts by commending their efforts. State how their advice helped you. This opened the door for my interview with Oyedepo John.

The bottom line:

Follow up, add them as friends on social media and follow-up on their personal pages and compliment them.

Step #5. Shamelessly Get Involved In Their Interests

Use Hootsuite to follow-up on all your influencers social media interactions.


  • Add up your social media
  • Add a stream With any name. I prefer to name it “Influencers” or “experts”
  • After your stream is added, click on the tiny radio button at the top
  • Click on preferences

Add your influencers Twitter handle.

Click done.

From now on, you don't need to go to Twitter to see what your influencers are saying.

You can easily retweet their shares and keep up with their conversation all in one place.

They'll notice you.

Use Feedly to follow on their blogs and post in one place. Feedly displays all your influencers posts with the time and number of comments.

The best part?

Feedly is free.

How To Setup And Use Feedly

Sign-up here and log in.

Create a folder and add them up

Search for your influencer's blog and click “add”

From now on, you don't need to visit those 10 blogs individually; you can simply go to Feedly and get all details in one place.

The bottom line:

Be involved in their interests and stay up to date with what they are saying.  It might really look like nothing is going on but this is one of the most important phases of building a real connection with expert.

Step #6: How to win anyone's attention

I consider this as one of the greatest principles of life:

Give and you shall receive

And this is what separate smart bloggers from those lazy fools.

You know why?

Smart bloggers are not in a hurry, they plan strategically ahead of time.

How To Fearlessly Appear On An Influencer's Radar

Drop them valuable comments.

I did a comment for Nairalearn's Oyedepo John. It is valuable and interesting and that puts me on his radar and that helps to get each of my post promoted by him.

And I got a nice response from John.

How to write such a comment?

I use four simple steps:

  1. I started with salutation,  “Hi John”
  2. I lead with a compliment
  3. Add value to the conversation
  4. Give a promise that I'll share this

And to stand out of the crowd, I make every comment a hundred+ words and if I don't get to be among the first 10 commenters, I reply to comments in the top 10.

Even though the comment was meant for the author, you can go ahead and answer them. (Thanks to Jeff Bullas for this tip.)

Share and tweet their post to your social media platforms

Step #7. Get the influencer's email address

Here, we'll need their email address to send them some promotional emails.

The problem.

  • Most don't make their email address public
  • Others give out generic emails which end up not been opened
  • Others have a virtual assistant that may not see your email

It is actually not easy but with some advanced research, you can get anyone's email address, even the president's. Oh, yeah.


Use the following tools:

  • Rapportive for Gmail
  • Get email permutation here
  • You can also use other online tools like hunter
  • Google can also help you too. Enter in the string (domain name or Name of Blogger) plus email address.
  • Use the direct contact us form on their blogs

If all fails, get their Twitter handle and DM them using this script.

Hey, NAME OF BLOGGER, I have a quick question I want to ask, mind DM-ing me your email? Thanks.

Step #8 Do your influencers a favor:

  • Point out broken links on their blog using this chrome add-on
  • Offer to upgrade a resource page using this script.
  • Mention them in your round up post
  • Review their product for free
  • Introduce yourself to the blogger

Step #9: The Big Ask

You've done the hard work. Now it's time to ask for a favor.

You don't have to be scared. Do you know why? You've done your part, so you totally deserve it.

So, shamelessly go ahead:

  • Ask for shares on your post
  • Guest post for them
  • Interview them
  • Ask for joint ventures
  • Get introductions to other experts
  • Get blog post reviews
  • And get endorsements

Advanced tips:

Always make sure your pitches are short and direct.

(Download the checklists of this post with all the email scripts here)

The Painful Truth About Life

You can't succeed all by yourself.

We all need people in our lives, people to cheer us up, people to appreciate what we do, People to help us succeed.

Because let us face it, your blog is a community of your own words. And in a community, people get supported. Friendships are developed and everyone feels belonged and cherished.

What are you waiting for?

You can do it.

Get up and win the game.

Charles Emmanuel is an Accountant-turned-blogger. He's on a mission to help you build traffic and make passive income blogging. Want to build a popular blog from scratch? Get the guide you need to make it happen right here (it's free).


  1. says

    Hi Charles,

    These are definitely some great tips for bloggers who are just getting started and want to build their business. I’ve just recently starting following bloggers using Feedly.

    We hear it all the time in the blogging world, build connections and start networking. To tell you the truth, this is how I got accepted for my first couple of guest posts.

    I just started commenting on their blogs and eventually reached out to them to ask if I could guest post.

    While they’re not on any of the big popular blogs you mentioned, but hey we have to start somewhere right 🙂

    Thanks for sharing these tips and I love the “stalk them like a virtual detective.”

    Have a great day 🙂


    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Susan, thanks for reading the post and am happy you love it. And yes, you can drop couple comments on other blogs to get noticed, its usually the initial process for newbie bloggers.

  2. says

    Hello Charles,
    Really an in depth article on how to reach the influential bloggers to promote your article.
    Seems like a great tip on paper, but very tough to execute.
    As they say great things don’t come from the comfort zone.
    Nayab Khan recently posted…Ways to make money onlineMy Profile

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Nayab, it’s true building meaningful relationship online is not easy. And anyone who tells you it’s easy is either stupid or not saying the truth. its hard but as you rightly pointed out the most rewarding things in life are the most hardest to accomplish. Thanks for stopping by.

      • says

        Hi Charles,

        Excellent stuff, I bookmarked it for future reference.

        Building relationships with others should be your top priority if you want to increase your online exposure, traffic and sales.

        Networking with others not only helps you build great audience but also helps you boost your authority as a blogger.

        If an authority blogger tweets your stuff, you’ll also more likely to be seen as an expert in your industry.

        Great tips buddy.

        • Charles Emmanuel says

          Great comment Anil, i totally agree with with you. Imagine you belong to a family of super wealthy folks. you know, your odds of success are Very high, right? You get access to anyone and yourself would be respected and regarded an authority.

          The Bad news? It’s not easy but at the same time, it’s not impossible.

          Blogging for fame is about building influence and positioning yourself by building meaningful relationships.

          Thanks Again Anil.

  3. Iyiola Owabumowa says

    Thanks so much Charles,
    Nice seeing you on the blog again.
    I just started building my relationships yesterday and lucky enough I’ve been able to say I’ve gotten on Glen Long, Sue and Adam Connell’s radar.
    Now that you’ve shown me how to build relationships not coincidentally this time around, it’s time to level up my game for the new launch.
    If you don’t mind, I have a roundup coming up, I’d love for you to participate.

    Thanks for the awesome tips Charles,
    Off to share!
    [email protected]

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Iyiola thank you for coming by and congratulations on your relationship building process. Sure, hook me up when the time comes for your roundup post. Thanks again

  4. says

    Thanks for the great information! I had to stop reading, and set up a Twitter list called “Influencers,” where I added all the bloggers that I wanted to stalk. Haha. That way, I can retweet, @ them, and also be sure to collect their interesting blog posts if I want to mention them in my post.
    June Rostad recently posted…Panda Cupcakes – It’s Pandamonium Here!My Profile

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Hey June, looks like you are an action taker and i love that. Good luck with your stalking process. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. says

    Its really amazing blog with very much helpful information, thank you so much for writing this great blog here for us.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Yea Snehal, Sue is doing a great job here and much grateful for the compliment. keep visiting for more inspiring articles

  6. says

    I’m honored for the mention. What a great piece you’ve got here. The twitter influencer part is dop. Kudos friend.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Thanks for dropping by John, you are one of those people that motivates me. keep up the good work over at naija learn

  7. says

    your content is very good and useful matter. thank u

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Thanks Raju and am excited you found the post useful

  8. says

    ‘Stalk them like a virtual detective’ That’s a LOL moment right there but it’s true. I love that your blog post is so real, especially when you talk about all the blogging tips out there, and sometimes one has to wonder if they’ll ever make it as a blogger. I’m working on building relationships too. Thanks for sharing a practical, meaty and easy to follow guide.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Thanks Sheeroh for your wonderful comment.
      The truth here is that blogging for fame and popularity is not easy and not everyone gets to succeed after all. Building meaningful relationship would scale up the process and make it easier

      Am happy you enjoyed the post. Keep visiting

  9. says

    Very helpful tips Charles. When i first started blogging, my coach always encouraged me to work for free to build character but i was frustrated i wasn’t earning additiona income. My blog posts have mostly been just helpful info and don’t always solve a reader’s problems so i need to rework that. I will definitely put these tips to good use.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Great, Patricia. Let me know how it goes!

  10. says

    Hi Charles,

    I must be honest with you, this post is so valuable that I can’t miss to share it with students of my online class.

    Building relationship with influencers in my niche is one of the best decisions I ever made since I started blogging. Just like you’d said, it’s impossible to succeed alone – in fact, daring it is very risky.

    One of my best strategies is to say positive things about them, congratulate them publicly on their birthday and anniversaries and also give them a backlink to their blog.

    So far, it has continued to work wonders for me.

    Thank you for sharing.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Great Emmanuel, am blown away you enjoyed the post. Building relationship with influencers is the greatest accomplishment in my path to blogging success. Thanks again friend.

  11. says

    Charles, this is the perfect outreach post. Because reaching out is more about reaching out to help versus reaching out to get. You sum this up beautifully.

    The thing I did not get – for years – is that if you focus your energy on making friends with top bloggers, like those you mentioned above, that your presence will expand at an exponential rate, versus at a snail’s pace. I recall chatting with Tor Refsland about how he viewed himself as a big game hunter of top shelf bloggers and entrepreneurs. Not because he was ignoring anybody else, and not a hunter in terms of stalking people, but mainly to just help big dawgs and befriend them and assist them in any way, to build bonds with them, that lead to sweet benefits for both parties.

    Sue will love that I comment here and tweet this post to my 50,000 followers. I will love it if she clicks through and tweets my post, and comments and buys the eBooks I promote in my latest post (if she doesn’t have them already she always buys ’em). That’s just what friends do. And as we support each other, our reach expands wider and wider, exponentially, all by giving, by sharing, by helping and by befriending awesome, successful, loving folks.

    I tried to do this solo. Did not work. I tried to network with tire kickers and half measured bloggers. Did not work. I built meaningful friendships with top bloggers. That did work. Really well. Because we succeed by surrounding ourselves with success, by getting drunk on their successful vibe and by helping folks who flow to us do the same, all through spreading love, by rendering service, by promoting other top bloggers and by regularly vibing higher and higher, diving into our fears regularly.

    Just remember to think, “reach out to help and serve and spread love” versus “reach out to get an influencer’s attention mainly because I want them to help me.” The latter approach stinks, and is the reason why I closed guest posting on my blog, to strangers. So many folks come out of nowhere and even though I appreciate their knowledge and insights, if they haven’t bonded with me, I cannot give them the keys to my blog. I did allow this to happen over the past few months; sour taste in my mouth after. Namely because a few bloggers published solid posts but disappeared, never to respond to comments or to be heard from again.

    My blog definitely ain’t for rent. Unless you’re paying 500 dollars for a sponsored post. Even then, only aligned sponsored posts get placed. And going forward, as I had for the longest time before that 2 month experimentation period, all interviews and guest posts on my blog will only come from trusted friends, folks who have helped me and folks who I have helped for months or years.

    Excellent bro. Loved this post. Love this message.

    Thanks for the list of bloggers up top too. Now I know what I will be doing for the next 2 hours; commenting on their blogs, reading their posts, learning from these folks and building stronger bonds with these big dawgs of the blogging world.

    Signing off from Thailand.

    Ryan Biddulph recently posted…How to Successfully Launch an eBook on Amazon (and Why this Helps Your Blog)My Profile

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Hi Ryan, thanks for taking the time to read this post. Your comment is truly valuable educating and inspiring. You see, the truth is, we can not possibly succeed on our own. we need other smart people around…

      It’s not easy, granted. But i discover almost all authority bloggers were once smart relationship builders. They network like crazy. They watch their feed for trending ideas and gracefully connect with big dogs. And i love your point “It’s not about what you stand to gain but what you can do for authority bloggers” And that’s what truly matters.

      Thanks again Ryan

  12. says

    Hey Charles,

    Indeed an informative post.

    It is crucial to build relationship and I released this a few months ago, when I first tried doing guest post.

    And since then, I am building more relationship with bloggers in my niche, it is helping me, although I am not able to grow as quickly as I should but I am still learning and I hope I will grow by following footsteps of all the successful bloggers.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Yea Jelina, it’s not easy but its not impossible either. Hootsuite and feedly would speed up the process and i recommend you set them up right away. I wish you the best

  13. says

    OMG Wow! What a great resource for new bloggers. I am book marking this site and sharing on Pinterest now. I do local SEO and PPC for clients all over the country and really needed this site. Writing engaging and useful blog posts is the number 1 way to increase your websites rankings in Google search.

    Thank you again!!!!

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Sandy, Am happy you love what Sue is doing over here. Engaging contents are the future of internet marketing. Thanks and Keep visiting

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Gagan, i totally agree with you. Building relationship with power users is very important in sky-rocking your blog’s popularity. Thanks

  14. Andrew M. Warner says

    Hey Charles,

    This was a great post. Much applause to you for creating such a monster of a post. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

    I especially like step #8. I think it’s a good thing to do favors and do what you can to stand out from everyone else. Great tip.

    – Andrew

  15. says

    Wow, this is very detailed and useful information.

    I’ve been following experts and blogs in Feedly as well and it’s a great way to have content show up on your computer screen vs. seeking out the information constantly.

    • Charles Emmanuel says

      Shubham, thank you for stopping by. I am happy you enjoyed the post. KEEP visiting.

  16. says

    Building relationships with experts are so important as they can help us in our difficult time and they can boost the popularity of our site.

    Thanks for sharing this Awesome Article!


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